You can try adding /norestart to the options. I am not sure if they are passing these through or where they might get passed through. You could use something process monitor from sysinternals to watch the system when this process kicks off.
In summary: vmwaretoolsupgrader.exe gets a local copy of the files, runs setup.exe with some options, which calls msiexec.exe.
I have used something like the following command line in the VM to do what you are asking for:
"C:\Program Files\VMware\VMware Tools\VMwareToolsUpgrader.exe" -p "/s /v\"/qn /norestart /L*v C:\Windows\Temp\custom_ToolsUpgrade.log\""
Look at setup.exe /? and msiexec.exe /? to see what you can do with command line options to those files.
http://wannemacher.us
