I think we finally got it resolved after all of these months. Thanks for all the support on this. It appears that everthing that was happen on the VMware side of things was just a symptom of the server nic configuration. I opened a ticket with dell (a five hour call) and they found that the NIC configuration on the Emulex cards was wrong. There was a fixed NIC on each card and then 3 func# that you could make any type of protocol (nic, iscsi, or fcoe) that you wanted we set all configurable func#s to none (except the FCoE) and the machines have been running as expected over the last 2 days for the first time. Everything that was unreachable instantly became available without deleting. Hopefully this helps someone.