If you are using ESX 4.0 (Classic) then try running following command on your esx server :- #dmidecode > out.txt or if you have ESXi 4.0 then try this command #smbiosDump > out.txt
In dimidecode and smbiosdump output, you will know in which slot memory is installed and also size of the memory in each slot.
I am not sure how to check failed memory but in demidecode and smbiosdump output, Their is property like Error Info.. Check that property in your scenario.
Haven't used HP software in a while but they used to have a bootable CD with which you could run the same tools as with the agent! I would recommend to look into that one. Boot it up and use the tool to test the mem.
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connect your server to VC and check harware status for mem info you will see the info as status
Depending on your server model and the ESX version, HP offers management tools which you can install on ESX (Classic) NOT on ESXi.
Besides HP-SIM integration, these tools include the HP management homepage which you can use to monitor the server's health.
Check on the HP web site for support & drivers and enter the server model you own. Make sure you select "English (international)" as the language, otherwise you might not see the VMware tools.
You mentioned a DL560 G3 model?! According to the HCL, only a DL560 (without G3) is listed and this is NOT supported for ESX 4.0.
For this model HP only offers the management tools for ESX 3.5. If you however are running ESX 4.0 you may want to select another hardware (e.g. DL360 G5) for the ESX 4.0 management tools.